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实在没时间做文字銜碍扫除工作，各位英语苦手对不起了。
文字还蛮有意思的，和04那篇〃我是一个卡片》风格很像，是以第一人称视角来描写拉屎男在Shadow Moses和Big Shell时候所经历的一切的。最囧的是每一作结尾还小小kuso了此代经典结尾主题对话一下....
Legend of Johnny Sasaki Chapter One - The Truth Behind Shadow Moses
My name is Johnny Sasaki.
If I may say so myself, I am a pretty cool mercenary.
Some even refer to me as a legendary soldier, I do believe.
To respond to those of you out there, I thought I'd give an account of the missions I have participated in.
Mission 1 - On Shadow Moses Island
2005, Alaska, the Shadow Moses Island was taken over by the uprising of the Special Force Group Fox Hound.
I was the guard of the nuclear disposal facility on Shadow Moses Island.
Act 1 - First Mission
The boss must have been impressed with my skills to have entrusted me to guard the entrance of the facility.
Some time passed...
A transmission came in on a fellow guard's radio.
Is something happening?
Maybe I should talk to him.
\"DARPA Chief moved to the B1 cell.
The new girl also there.
Duct grates removed for rat spraying.\"
From him I learned that there is an intruder in the facility.
It seems the intruder was using stealth camouflage, and had killed three men.
A fit of tremble went through my whole body. This was not a story I'm only listening to, this is really happening, and happening real close. It is not impossible that I myself could be killed at any time.
My mind was racing.
\"Go increase the security on the DARPA Chief.\"
The guard told me, and so I took it as an order and headed for the cells in the basement.
Act 2 - Betrayal
I took a peek at the girl in the cell next to the DARPA Chief's cell.
Nice curves.
Just when I was beginning to get mesmorized by the beauty of the new girl, I quickly regained my professionalizm.
No! I must concentrate on the mission.
ACKCHOO!!
I sneezed.
Damn it's cold...
I felt the need to go to the toilet.
Gurrr...
\"I seem to be coming down with something. I never thought Akaska would be this cold.
But that woman sure's got some nice curves on her.\"
I talked to myself as I exitted the toilet.
I felt as if someone was watching and listening to me, but I guess I'm just imagining things.
It's too quiet.
Better return to guarding that DARPA Chief.
Moments later...
Is the DARPA Chief starting to talk to himself too?
I was going to let him be, but after a while it just started to creep me out in this silence.
\"Hey! Shut up in there!\"
I warned the DARPA Chief using a scary tone.
It didn't sound very much like myself, but I thought it was appropriate.
All of a sudden, the DAPRA Chief started screaming.
It sure gave me a jump.
The girl also yelled out, \"Hey! What's going on!?\"
I went to open the cell door in a panic, but accidentally opened the door of the new girl's cell instead.
The next thing I felt was a strong punch on my stomach.
I was going to use my fighting techniques, but I was defeated by the beauty of the new girl.
And all I can remember was darkness after that...
Suddenly, I awoke to the painful cold on my bare skin.
I was down to wearing only my tidey whiteys.
One of them took my clothes!
Damn them!
I am filled with anger, as if anger is going to explode out of me!
ACKCHOO!
I sneezed again.
But this one is a different sneeze.
It is an anger-filled sneeze.
Act 3 - Fight For Life
Anyway, so I got a new set of uniform and equipments.
And now I am guarding the cell of the intruder, Solid Snake.
ACKCHOO!
Damn, I have really caught the cold now.
That woman, how dare she take my clothes...
No, I must concentrate on my mission at hand. Drowning in anger won't change anything.
Come to think of it, it's surprising how easily Solid Snake the legendary mercenary got captured.
I don't know what to believe in anymore.
It's time for his interrogation.
\"Snake! It's showtime!\"
And so I unlocked his cell door and got him to the interrogation table.
I can hear his painful screams through the door.
It seems they're working on him good.
Moments later...
After getting Snake back in his cell, again there is only silence.
The interrogation must have worn him out.
Back to guarding.
Just then!
\"Oh!! My stomach!!!\"
Intense pain began from my stomach and spread though my entire body.
\"Ah!! It's coming out!!!\"
With no time to give it any more thought, I rushed to the toilet.
Heavenly release.
Moments later...
After the business is taken care of, and I return to my guarding duties...
\"!?\"
The sight that greeted me shocked me.
The Snake that seemed perfectly fine just moments before (though tired from the interrogation), is now lying face down on the floor in a puddle of blood!
In a fit of panic, I quickly opened the cell door with shaking hands and ran inside.
\"Ah!\"
An uppercut right on my chin.
Down I go.
No! I am not getting defeated this easily this time!
Back up I stand.
It seems that Snake had tricked me into thinking he's dead by breaking a bottle of ketchup and lying on the red sauce while I was in the toilet.
Where did he get a bottle of ketchup?
I can't let him escape!
\"Don't run!\"
I started shooting my new FA-MAS.
Even though he is the legendary Solid Snake, but he's barehanded and I have a machine gun, it's not completely unimaginable that I might be able to take him on by myself.
But Snake somehow managed to get out of the way of all the bullets I shot at him, with superhuman agility.
Damn it!
I'm out of bullets!
No choice now but to fight.
A rotating kick from Snake knocked me down again.
But I'm not passing out so easily.
Just when I got up again and was ready to fight back...
\"Ah! My stomach!! Not again!!!\"
Woe is me.
Piercing pain once again invaded my whole body.
I can't stand it anymore, so I had no other choice but to let Snake go, and race once again to the toilet.
\"Oh, ah!\"
I can hear Snake's footsteps getting farther away. He's escaped.
\"Damn it! It's all that woman's fault!!\"
A few minutes later...
I looked around after coming out of the toilet.
No one is around.
Uneasy silence.
No use hanging around here anymore.
I headed deeper into the base.
\"Hey you, what are you doing there?\"
Finally there are other people.
I ran over after they called out to me.
\"It's good you're here. The thing is, we are called to the communication towers, so can you take the check point gates in our place?\"
Since they asked, I don't see why not.
So I started on my way to the check point gates.
I've never been there, but the more I walked following their directions, the more I realized, those gates are damn far on foot.
Some time later...
Guarding these check point gates is pretty boring, no cars ever pass through here.
And it's even colder here, because the tunnel leads directly outside, and even though the tunnel is long, the cold air still reaches here.
Hmm, what's all that noise about?
What's going on?
Just when I was about to take a peek out of the check point booth to see what's happening...
KABOOM!!
The oil drum over there just exploded!
No, it didn't just explode, it was shot at!
Out of nowhere appeared this jeep.
And Solid Snake is on it!
And that woman too!
I was debating whether or not to get out and fight, when Snake aimed the machine gun on the jeep at the oil drum just outside the check point booth.
KABOOM!!
The explosion knocked me down inside the booth, I could only hold my head on the ground to avoid the shattered glass.
And the jeep drove past the booth and deep into the tunnel.
I don't remember anything afterwards all that well, but I think I saw Liquid Snake driving past the booth just moments after the explosion.
Act 4 - Escape
Some time passed...
I hear footsteps approaching.
So I got out of the booth.
Walking towards me is Commander Ocelot.
\"You want to come with me?\"
After getting out of the tunnel into open air, the commander said something into the radio which I can't hear clearly.
But I wasn't trying to listen to him to begin with.
I was thinking to myself.
This has got to be one of the biggest events in my life...
\"You must not be chained by fate.
You must not be ruled by your genes.
Human beings can choose the way they want to live.
The important thing, is the choice you make.
The life you choose.
And to live.\"
\"Oh!!!!
Not my stomach again!!
That damn woman!!
Wooo!!
Oooh!!!\"
Legend of Johnny Sasaki Chapter Two - Big Shell and The Lalilulelo
My name is Johnny Sasaki.
If I may say so myself, I am a pretty cool mercenary.
Some even refer to me as a legendary soldier, I do believe.
To respond to those of you out there, I thought I'd give an account of the missions I have participated in.
Mission 2 - On Offshore Plant \"Big Shell\"
4 years after the incident on Shadow Moses...
On the offshore decontamination plant known as the \"Big Shell\", I took part in the uprising by the revolutionary group called the \"Sons of Liberty\".
I was in charge of guard duties.
Act 1 - Legendary Man
April 29th.
I was guarding the deep sea dock together with another guard.
To be honest, I have mixed feelings about this uprising.
Because what we were told was that the leader of the \"Sons of Liberty\" was called Solid Snake.
The same Solid Snake from four years ago? On Shadow Moses Island?
But I thought Solid Snake died in the tanker sinking incident two year ago. Right here where this plant is now standing.
So does that mean the leader this time isn't the same Solid Snake? Or is it?
Well, not that it really affects me personally either way.
I really should concentrate on the mission at hand.
Intruders are coming, but it seems it's only the US Navy SEALs and no one else this time, no big deal.
That's what's told to everyone.
But I know the truth, I heard the report about one more intruder, an agent of what the boss called the \"らゃるれろ Lalilulelo\".
I think, that since...
PUNCH!
Ah! What? Who...
Can... can it be...
Ack.
Without seeing anything, I passed out.
But the feel of the punch is so familiar...
Yes, it is him... that man...
Act 2 - Flash Back
The two of us awoke to the incoming radio call, we were transferred to the Shell 1 Core B1 Hall to guard the hostages.
The big hall was supposed to have been the location where the president gave a speech. Now it's a big empty hall where the Big Shell hostages are held. Most of them Big Shell personel, and some of them guests that came together with the president, it seemed.
Time went by swiftly without much excitement or interruption. Just the team leader making radio transmissions at regular intervals to report that everything is okay.
Suddenly, I lost my foot hold and fell.
Ouch!
\"What the hell did you do that for!?\"
One of the hostages tripped me!
How dare he!
Filled with anger, I pointed my gun at the blind folded man.
\"Ooh...\"
He made these noises that saddened me to hear.
So slowly I lowered my gun.
Drowning in anger will not solve anything.
Just then!
All of a sudden!
\"Oh! Ah!! My stomach!!!\"
My stomach suddenly started hurting.
I forgot all about the hostages, and immediately hurried to the toilet at the corner of the room as fast as I can.
\"Oooh!!\"
The emergency flowed swiftly and with gusto.
It flowed so fast it was painful.
Several minutes later...
\"Oooh... It's still coming out...\"
My mind is brought back to that time, that time that I can never forget.
At least no one's taken off all my clothes this time.
All the Russian soldiers are very nice and friendly, so that's good. We are all getting along well.
The lady captain sure looks a lot like that woman though...
That damned woman who took all my clothes...
The more I thought about it the more angry I got again.
I should stop dwelling on this.
\"I should just concentrate on the mission at hand. And do a good job!\"
With that determination reached, I reached for the toilet paper.
It was at this instant that a bad thing happened!
There is no toilet paper!
Time froze...
The sustained silence was interrupted by a rumbling commotion outside followed by a rain of gun shots.
\"But you should already be killed!?\"
It was the surprised voice of Commander Ocelot.
What the hell is going on?
I considered getting out of the toilet, but was worried about my safety and wellfare.
So I remained in the toilet.
Some moments later...
Hm... Wha? I must have fallen asleep.
Falling asleep on the toilet brings on the worst dreams... I dreamed I was attacked by diarrhea in the shape of a man chasing me...
Ick...
I got out of the toilet and asked my guard companions what had happened.
\"Two intruders infiltrated this hall. One was a guy who looked like a girl, and the other one was a ninja.\"
What? But the ninja should already be killed in the incident on Shadow Moses! Did he not die!?
No use thinking about it now.
Come to think of it, what time is it now? I asked the comrade.
\"Lemme see... It is now 1700 hours.\"
What! It's this late already!?
I quickly headed for the next guard location of my assignment.
Act 3 - Fateful Meeting
I ran as fast as I can in full speed toward my next post, and managed to reach my destination only 15 minutes late for the shift switch.
All is peaceful, there is no sign of any intruders at all.
But I shan't let my defense down, for an intruder might be approaching this area this very moment.
I must be ready for any sudden unexpected situation.
For that is my job, that is what I am good at.
Several minutes later...
Gunshots sounded from the other side of the structures.
Through the radio are reports of an unidentified character being spotted.
Just as I thought! An intruder!
Another several minutes later...
I hear footsteps. It must be the intruder!
What kind of fearsome person would come all the way here?
I readied my AK and waited.
Footsteps slowly approached.
I raised my gun and aimed at the shadowy character turning around the corner.
\"Don't move!\"
\"Kyaaa!\"
It was the scream of a girl.
In front of me stood a cute young girl.
\"A girl...?\"
I was surprised by the unexpected situation.
\"Why are you in a place like this?\"
\"I'm not here because I want to be...\"
So cute!
Before I noticed, I already lowered by gun.
\"Hum...\"
\"Aren't you going to shoot?\"
\"Uh um.\"
\"Why not?\"
The girl asked me why I wasn't going to shoot at her.
I replied without giving it a second thought.
\"On the battlefield, do not get close to a cute girl.
If you do, diarrhea will hit and refuse to stop.\"
\"Wha?\"
\"It's one of the many lessons I learned from the Shadow Moses mission.\"
I replied proudly.
I've grown. I've matured.
\"What are you talking about?\"
\"Just reminiscing and being nostalgic, don't worry about it.\"
\"Um... I can't understand what you're saying at all... But are you letting me go?\"
I was a little stunned.
No woman should be able to resist hearing this lesson as a pick up line.
\"That wasn't the nicest way to put it, but yeah that's what I'm doing.\"
I stepped aside to open up the path for the girl.
\"Go, hurry.\"
\"Tha.. Thank you.\"
The girl thanked me.
I was a little bit happy inside, but I can't let my emotions show on the surface.
I suppressed by feelings, and spoke in a gentleman's voice.
\"There's no need for gratitude. Rather than wasting time on that, you should hurry...\"
Just then...
\"Ga!! My, my stomach again～!\"
I am attacked again by the special illness. For it to happen to me at a time like this, I really am an unlucky man.
\"This place is about to sink. Hurry up and get away. All right!\"
As I spoke, the pain attacked me again.
\"Oooh～～～!!!\"
\"Wait!\"
\"What?\"
The pain is almost unbearble.
\"What is your name?\"
The girl asked of me.
\"I have no name!\"
\"Huh?\"
\"Nah, I am Johnny...\"
At that moment the pain once again ran through my entire body.
\"Gah～～!! It's coming out～～!!\"
\"Hey! If we meet again...\"
\"Gaaahhh～～～!!!\"
The pain is so overwhelming I had to run away.
Thinking back at it now, I've done a very regrettable thing.
About a half an hour later...
I was just able to make it to the toilet in the nick of time, and successfully took care of business without any major accidents. My pants are dirtied only a tiny little bit.
Hey, I can't relax like this, I have to hurry and ride the big elevator with everybody, otherwise...
What is this huge shaking... Can it be... No way!!!
Jebus! That thing it already activated!! That means Big Shell is starting to sink!!! I have to get on that before the water rushes in!!!!
Crash! Splatter! Crunch!
\"Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!\"
What happened after, I have no recollection of. But I was lucky enough to fall on something's back, or top, or some surface, this much I remember...
Act 4 - In Memory Of Shadow Moses
The time now is 22 hours 50 minutes.
I am now patrolling this thing called \"Arsenal Gear\", in the Jejunum area.
What is an Arsenal Gear? Well... Anyway, it's something like a huge Metal Gear, that's all I know.
I just helped secure the intruder onto the torture table.
I have a feeling that this guy might escape too, like Snake did last time.
To not give him any unguarded space for escape, I am keeping an eye on the entire area around the place.
Several minutes later...
Wait a second! Did I just see someone come out of the torture room?
I better go take a look.
Hum, the dude is still securely strapped on the table.
He looks girlish with his flowing blond hair, but damn, his package is huge.
I can't even compete...
\"I lose...\"
I walked out of the room in shame.
By the by, where did I put my can of soda?
Several minutes later...
'Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert!'
What!? Intruder alert in the area ahead? How did anyone get past me!?
I better go help out!
I put on a Tengu suit just like everyone else and jumped out of the changing room.
This suit is amazing! I feel so light, as if gravity is reduced.
I can move around so swiftly, and jump so high.
Yipee～! This is soo coool～!
I hurried down the personnel corridor with the other Tengu soldiers, and emerged in the second floor balcony of a huge sphere room.
And who do I see down below?
That blond girlish intruder dude, and who is that beside him...
Solid Snake!!!
I felt at the same time nostalgic, and angry at the sight of Solid Snake.
It is all because of him that I became plagued with the diarrhea, and can not even get a girlfriend because of it. It is all Solid Snake's fault!
I'll kill him!
But the two of them sure are defeating a lot of my comrades...
No time to be cowardly now! I am Johnny Sasaki!
I jumped down from the balcony and onto the battlefield.
I aimed my machine gun at the blond intruder and held down the trigger tight, but with his sword he managed to block all the bullets I shot at him.
How is that possible!?
I'm out of ammo!
Reload.
It was at that moment, I was hit directly on the head by one of Solid Snake's rotating kicks.
I'm pretty tired from the battle anyway, so I fainted...
Act 5 - What To Pass On
I don't know how long it's been since I was knocked out, but when I regained consciousness, everything is silent in this weird look structure again.
All around me are scattered motionless bodies of my comrades.
Looking farther around, all the parked Metal Gear RAYs are gone.
What the hell happened?
No matter what, I should get up and take a look up ahead.
Several minutes later...
Out of my surprise, for some reason I emerged on the back/top of Arsenal Gear.
Whoaaa! The wind out here is so strong I can barely stand.
What appeared before my eyes made me speechless.
Arsenal Gear is headed straight for Manhattan!
An extra strong gust of wind pushed me down to the floor.
A little off in the distance over there, not too clear in view due to the foggy air, are what seems to be some people standing around talking about something important.
Better not get involved, I thought to myself.
Some minutes later...
Is no one steering this thing? Because Arsenal Gear is about to crash onto land!
Can it be that I am the only person that got to witness this spectacular scene?
Crash!
Ow!
Did I black out? Because I don't remember Arsenal Gear hitting Manhattan Island, but already it is approaching Federal Hall!
Crash!
The impact was so strong, it tossed me right off the edge of Arsenal Gear's back/top!
The drop is frighteningly high.
Had my reflexes no been so excellent, the fall might have broken my neck or killed me some other way. But because of my excellent skills, I managed to only drop on my head.
I passed out again.
Some time passed...
Something hit me on the head and I awoke from restless dreams.
Some kind of commotion surrounds me.
Looking around, people's attention are directed at a man wearing a weird high-tech looking metallic outfit, kneeling in front of the George Washington statue.
What was it that happened at this place?
My head felt a little blank and empty.
What is my name again?
Mindlessly I muttered to nobody in particular.
\"Who am I...\"
From behind me, a voice replied to my inquiry.
\"No one knows for sure who they are themselves.\"
\"Snake!\"
\"You can decide your own name by yourself.\"
\"Decide by myself?\"
\"Right, that will be your true self.\"
\"It's something I can do...?\"
\"It is true that this time, you might not have made any of the choices yourself. However, what you thought about and what you felt during it all, those are your own. And what you choose to make of them is up to you...\"
\"And how to live from now on as well?\"
\"Correct. No one starts off already possessing a name and memories. And also what to pass on, you can decide this too. No one can decide it for you.\"
\"By the way, what is that?\"
\"Dog tags...?\"
It's the thing that hit my head and woke me up.
\"A name you know?\"
\"I don't know it. It's a codename. Is it my codename? What is my name?\"
I put the dog tags around my neck.
\"I will decide my own name. My own way to live, and also what to pass on to the next generation.\"
\"That's right, on this piece of land long ago, our ancestors passed down freedom to us. The freedom to decide and to pass on. Even me.\"
Snake placed his hand on my shoulder.
\"You still have things to do. You still have things you have to pass on.\"
And he turned around and disappeared in the crowd.
\"Snake?\"
This is why I am passing on my experience of what happened.
Thinking about it now, was it all just an illusion...?
\"Life isn't just about passing on your genes. We can leave behind much more than just DNA.
Through speech, music, literature and movies... What we've seen, heard, felt... Anger, joy and sorrow...
These are the things I will pass on. That's what I live for.
We need to pass the torch, and let our children read our messy and sad history by its light.
We have all the magic of the digital age to do that with.
The human race will probably come to an end some time, and new species may rule over this planet.
Earth may not be forever, but we still have the responsibility to leave what traces of life we can.
Building the future and keeping the past alive are one and the same thing.\"
\"Are you alright? Do you need help with something?\"
\"Uh... Who am I?\"
\"What?\"
\"Do you know who I am?\"
\"No.\"
\"Does anyone know who I am?\"
\"Can anyone tell me what my name is?\" |
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IP卡
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-10-2 01:07:38
提升卡
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发表于 2008-10-2 19:04:23
raying to who? Oh, God!Oh...(咕噜咕噜)